A Work in Progress

Tears, fits of rage, defiance, laughter, understanding, advice, growth...All these words sum up the relationship between Felix and me. As a seventh grader, he was a pill. He sat in 2 of my beginner classes, some days, "not in the mood" to learn or completely defiant to my authority, which in turn brought on a slew of reactions from me, then him. As time passed and I learned how to best deal with him, I realized that what he really needed was positive attention. Many times, however, the challenge was that his actions were difficult to respond positively to. I could see in Felix an innate desire to succeed, but an external fight to do what he knew had to be done, or maybe just a lack of confidence that it could be done. If you didn't know him, he seemed a perfectly happy, sociable kid, but spending so much time with him revealed to me that there was so much more underneath that wasn't at all visible in a larger social setting. Many days I talked to him, through tears and anger, trying to reason with him....trying to build him up. As the year progressed, I started to see a change in him. He began to respect me- I think he realized that he really mattered to me, that I wanted him to succeed because I knew how much he could do. By the end of the year, he had jumped so much in his English, it was amazing to see how far we had come!

The following year (last year), Felix sat in 2 of my classes as an 8th grader, and wow, the difference it was! He was so eager to learn, working so hard on his English and his reading that I became so eager to do all I could to help him. He spent countless days in my classroom, not only in the learning environment, but after school, just hanging out, chatting, enjoying life. He really opened up and expressed his desire to become a better more mature person. His struggles came out and he realized what he had to do; he just didn't always know how to do it. He rebelled in school, and other teachers complained of his defiance and disrespect, but I no longer saw it with me. Of course, I knew what they were talking about because I had seen it many times before! Through all the trials, Felix weaved a special place in my heart. I've never felt like I've put so much effort into a child, academically and unacademically at the same time.

At the end of last school year, it was hard to say goodbye. I really worry about all my kids when they go to high school, but Felix especially. Many times we talked about his stubborness, his rebellion, his poor decisions, so I just hope that as he grows, he remembers that every action has a consequence, great or small. Up to now, his bad decisions haven't yielded great consequences, so hopefully the small ones will be a reminder.

Felix was waiting outside the school building for me as I walked out to my car today. I was so delighted to see him, of course! And he informed that he really enjoys high school. He's playing soccer on the school team, and he hasn't gotten in trouble once this semester! I was so happy to hear that. He loves soccer so much that he's always told me that he wants to be a soccer player. (They all do, I know!) But I think now he realizes how important his education is and that it's not worth it to lose it.

I love it when my former students come back to see me....whether they come bearing bad news or good, it's comforting to know that they care enough to come back. It's sink or swim for these ESL kiddos sometimes, and I just try to do everything I can to help them swim...and swim well. I guess that's why God gave me the strength to swim well.